Human Nature
by Hazzybat
Summary: Zim and Dib are doing what they do every St. Patrick's day. Chasing each other and gate crashing a party. Once there Zim's knocked unconscious and when he wakes up he's in for a shock! ZADR AU.


**a/n for some reason st patrick's day doesn't show up so where there's a 's day that's what i ment. okay now read on..**

Human Nature

"Get back here, you crazy alien!"

Zim was running from his enemy as per usual. His boots hit the ground hard and fast as his magenta eyes searched for an escape route.

You would think by now the two would have given up on chasing each other. Dib was in his early twenties and Zim had aged with him. Over the years the two had grown respect for each other but the chases still commenced.

Currently they were running through peaceful suburbs and back allies ignoring the parties in every home.

While everyone else with a social life celebrated 's Day, these two did what they did every day of the week.

Zim kicked over a trashcan as he turned the corner into a small court. Only a circle of houses blocked his way to his base, and the only way through would be through a crowded, party filled house.

"I've got you now, Zim. Why do you keep running? You know I'll catch you in the end." The black haired boy advanced on the little alien, smiling. Just as he was about to grab Zim, Zim ducked out of the way and ran straight for a party house.

The thumping music hurt his antennae and the neon lights made it hard for him to navigate around the place.

"Get out of the way, filthy human. MOVE IT! I am Zim! AHHHHHH!" the alien screeched as someone spilled their drink all over him. But it didn't burn him. Although it was a liquid it wasn't water therefore it didn't harm him.

But he stopped and screamed nonetheless, giving Dib a chance to catch up to him. Just has he did another partygoer swung their arm around and knocked a lamp off the side table and right onto Zim's head. The last thing the Irken saw was a pair of golden eyes looking at him, filled with concern.

"Zim!? Zim!? Come on Zim wake up." Dib was holding the one known as Zim in his arms.

They were now on the second floor of the party house. Dib had carried Zim there to patch up his head.

Sitting on the pink bedspread Zim began to stir.

"Zim! Oh Zim I was so worried about you. Next time we go out you really need to control your drinking. And watch out for other people. Normally you would have ducked that lamp. You must be really drunk. But that doesn't matter now that you're okay. Does you head hurt too much? Do you want to go home yet? I'll get some ice! Wait no ice is made out of water and I know you have hydrophobia…" Dib was ranting as he often did when he was nervous.

Zim was just staring at him the whole time not noticing his pounding headache.

"What are you talking about filthy human? Why are you being kind to the amazing Zim? Is this some kind of trick? TELL ME!" Zim pointed at Dib to emphasize his question. Before he could say anymore he caught sight of his hand. Instead of being covered in a black Irken glove it was bare and pink. Much like human skin.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Zim let out a petrified wail and fell off the bed. He tried to stand but for some reason his balance was way off. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PRECIOUS HAND?"

Dib sighed and slapped his forehead. "Not this again." Dib stood up and walked over to the wobbling Zim. He ignored Zim's protests, slipped an arm around his waist and led him over to the full-length mirror hanging on the far wall.

"Now Zim this will be a shock to you (just like it is every time you get drunk) but you have to trust me. You are not an alien."

With that said Zim looked at himself in the mirror. Once again he screamed.

The person in the mirror was very different to the face he had previously. Instead of green Irken skin covering his small frame there was pale pink human skin. His face now had a small nose and petite features. Covering his face was a strange substance that Zim recognized as green face paint. He had black pants and a green t-shirt with a shamrock on it. Instead of his antennae he had what looked like his wig, only it was his real hair. His eyes were now violet and as wide as they could go.

Along with these strange new features, Zim noticed that he looked too shabby for the proper Zim. His pants were wrinkled and his shirt had some stains. The black hair was messy and covered in green glitter, as was his skin.

Standing next to Dib, Zim could see that he was still short, with Dib being about a head taller.

Zim had never really noticed how Dib had changed over the years. He was now a young man, around twenty years old. His hair was now in an incredible lighting bolt shape and still jet black. He had stubble on his strong jaw and his eyes were still that soft honey colour. Instead of his trademark coat and blue top he now wore a dark green hoodie and a green top. His pants were black and he still had a pair of boots covering his feet.

As Zim studied his enemy he noticed that his vision was a little blurry and everything seemed to tilt.

"Why is the incredible Zim in this strange body? And why are you helping me human?"

Zim was leaning heavily on Dib now and so Dib took them back to the bed.

"Okay Zim I'm going to explain this to you as best I can. You have to believe me. No matter what you think you are you have to trust me okay?" Dib told Zim.

"Okay. First question. Why is there more than one of you?" Zim asked.

"You're drunk. We're at Keef's 's Day party because we haven't done anything together in a while. You and I are dating."

"WHAT?" Zim exclaimed falling backward on the bed. "But we're enemies! Why are we dating? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO FOOL ZIM?"

Dib sighed for the millionth time this night. "Zim, we are not in your fantasy land. This is the real world. I hate it when you get drunk off your ass because I can't convince you of anything. It's funny at first but now it's just irritating." Dib held Zim's hands and pulled him back up. Zim began to draw away from the touch but Dib held tight.

"Can you please let me explain? You don't have to believe me but after this we're going home. Together. Okay?"

Zim nodded weakly.

"Okay. As I was saying you and I are dating. We used to fight in primary school but that stopped in high school. You were an exchange student and pretty weird even by our standards. Currently we're living together in your home." Zim began to exclaim something about how dare he be in Zim's preciouses base but Dib cut him off. "We have been for a while now. Before that, you lived with your uncles Edom and Porfirio, better known as Red and Purple respectively. They're staying with us for the moment because apparently they want to see you. I personally think they've run out of money and want to take advantage of you."

Zim looked at the Dib on the left and asked, a little slurred, "Wait. Red and Purple? They aren't my uncles. But if they're here," he was more mumbling to himself now, "then… where's GIR? Who is GIR? TELL ME HUMAN!"

Zim was clutching Dib's shoulders now and wobbling dangerously close to his face. Dib pushed him back a little and said, "GIR's fine. He's our dog. From what I've heard of your ramblings when you're drunk, in you mind he's a robot."

Zim sighed and fell back on his knees.

Dib said, "Okay I think that's everything you need to know. We should head off. Can you see any better?"

Zim blinked a few times, rubbed them and then shook his head. He stopped soon after to hold his throbbing temples. While one had massaged his head the other ran up to feel the black, spiky locks covering his head. A shower of glitter came down as he pulled and scruffed his hair even more.

"What is this shiny stuff?" Zim asked as inspected it as best he could with his double vision.

"It's glitter. And tomorrow is going to be a nightmare getting it out of your clothes and hair," Dib responded, shuffling closer and once again putting his arm around Zim's waist. But this time he put his other hand under Zim's knees and lifted him effortlessly, like a baby.

At the sudden change of position Zim grew dizzy, clinging to Dib tightly as a result.

Dib looked down at the bundle in his arms, smiled gently and began walking down the stairs to the front door.

Just as they reached the bottom step an annoyingly familiar voice called out, "Hey, Zim, you're okay! I was so worried about you. Good thing you have Dib here to look after you. Of course I would have just as happily done it but that's not the point." The ever-obsessed Keef came into view of the two. He was now a young man like the others and immensely flamboyant. He had an outfit of sparkly green everything. From his pointed shoes, to his 'kiss me I'm pretending to be Irish' shirt, to his green shamrock sunglasses, everything screamed faux fabulous.

Dib glared at Keef. The whole night, he'd been hanging around these two waiting for Dib to leave to 'have fun' with Zim. Dib growled, "We're leaving. Zim's very drunk and needs to go home."

"I thought he just hit his adorable head," Keef responded.

"I'm right here you know. And I don't want to go home!" Zim attempted to push away from Dib but failed miserably.

Keef smiled and said, "Look, Dib, he wants to stay. I never thought you of all people would do anything to make Zimmy upset. And as this is my party and a majority of us want Zim to stay I say he should!"

"No," Dib stated calmly. He hated Keef with a burning passion. Everything about the man disgusted him. Keef had always been obsessed with Zim but Dib had always protected him. Even thought they were enemies they were each others enemy. No one else was allowed to get to close. Ever since high school, when Zim and Dib had started dating, Keef had been trying even harder to take Zim for himself. So anything that annoyed him was worth it.

"But Diiiiiiib," Zim slurred, "I want to investigate this party stuff. I want to find the prooop…um...prup...er...propites…"

"Properties?" Dib suggested.

"Yes those things, of the sparkly stuff." Zim smiled smugly like he'd just figured out the answer to a tough question before everyone else. He pushed and fell out of Dibs arms onto the glitter covered floor.

"Well let's not waste time!" Keef shouted "to the glitter trays my darling Zimitha Botulin Irken!"

The use of his full name and the word darling gave Zim a hatred that even in his odd state he couldn't ignore.

But before he could say anything a soft hand took his and pulled him quickly towards the crowds.

Dib grabbed at the fast disappearing Zim, but it was too late. Keef had taken him into the mass of people and glow sticks.

"Damn it Keef! Zim needs to go home now!" Dib began to make his way through the crowd, trying to find the intoxicated Zim.

While Dib struggled to find a gap in the crowd that he could pass through, Keef was dragging Zim to a huge table against the far wall of the huge living room. As the crowds parted for their host Zim got a glimpse at what was on the table. Piles of streamer and confetti covered it. Food was dotted in between the party decorations and all of it bright green. Zim had never seen a place that was this green. If he knew what it was he would have thought of the emerald city.

"Here we go little Zimmy," Keef addressed the amazed boy. "I know you adore 's day, I mean what's not to love?" Keef smiled wickedly down at Zim. "You get to wear you favorite color, aside from pink, you get to have a good time instead of working all the time and most of all..." Keef leaned in really close to Zim's now blushing face, "you get to spend time with me."

"And Dib," Zim squeaked out. He wasn't sure why he said that. He still thought that Dib was the enemy. But he felt he needed to defend him, and he wasn't totally comfortable with Keef's closeness.

"And Dib," Keef said with gritted teeth. "Hey, you wanted to see some glitter right? Well have a look at this!" Keef grabbed Zim's wrist and pulled him over to the far end of the table where three big buckets stood. Two were empty but the last one was half full with green glitter.

Zim's purple eyes lit up at the sight. But his balance was still terrible and he leaned a little too close over the huge bucket. As he began to fall forward an arm came around his waist and held him back.

"Oh, Zim," Keef chuckled in his ear. "You should really watch your step. Who knows what would have happened if I wasn't here." Keef was holding him close and now gently swayed him to the slowed music. Zim wanted to get out of the strange embrace to explore the glitter but Keef was stronger than he looked.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" an annoyed voice called out through the crowd. Dib was fuming. He pushed the few people still in his way to the side as he marched up to Keef and Zim.

"Oh hey Dib glad you could…" Before Keef could say another word, Dib punched him square in the jaw.

Keef let go of Zim as he fell. Zim stumbled at the sudden release. Dib walked up to him, still mad. Addressing Keef, he said, "How could you? You know we have an agreement. Zim's mine, you don't try to get to close and I don't punch your face in."

Zim was hiding behind Dib to avoid his glare. He looked like a child hiding behind his mother while a bully got told off.

Dib turned to Zim, but his gaze had softened "Are you okay? He didn't try anything funny?"

Zim shook his head softly then said "can we bring the glitter home?"

Dib smiled softly. "Sure, Zim" A quick kiss on the lips and they headed home.

Zim slept on the way home. A bucket of glitter resting on the floor of Dib's car. The drive wasn't long but when they got home Zim was dead to the world. He was snoring in the most adorable way.

Carefully so as not to wake him, Dib lifted Zim into his arms and walked to the door. He went in and tried to make no sound so as not to wake the sleeping figures on the couch.

GIR was less considerate. As usual he came bounding in from the kitchen yapping his little doggy head off. The noise and movement woke the three people sleeping.

"Shhhhh GIR. Yes, I know I'm home, you can be quiet now." Dib was trying desperately to calm the dog quietly but before he could a pink cushion came flying across the room, narrowly missing the animal.

"SHUT UP GIR OR I'LL SEND YOU TO THE POUND!" a grouchy Red rolled over and tried to fall back to sleep. Purple muttered something in agreement and shuffled closer to Red.

Zim stirred in Dib's arms and muttered, "GIR? Shut up."

Dib whispered out a sorry and began walking towards the elevator.

The house grew silent again as GIR went back to his bed, Red and Purple slept and Dib took Zim to the bedroom.

They lay there in the darkness, Zim snoring softly and Dib holding him close. "Zim?" Dib whispered out. He knew Zim couldn't hear him but he wanted to say something. "I know you want your other world. I know you want life to be different. You're a dreamer, the best one I know, but I need you here. In this world. I love you Zim. Goodnight."

Dib kissed Zim, and he might have imagined it, but Zim nodded ever so softly, and he whispered out, "It's human nature to dream."

**a/n:**

**and there you go. i hope you like it!**

**little things to maybe clear up:**

**1)Edom and Porfirio mean red and purple respectively. i dunno it sounded cool.**

**2) i imagine gir as some sort of terrier mix thing. i couldn't think of a breed so that's why there's no description of him. sorry.**

**please tell me if yo want anything else cleared up.**

**thanks again for reading!**


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